A "Victor Meldrew" of A Day

A time-waster and imposter
Put paid to our trip to Gloucester
Still, many more wish to foster
The little dog called Oscar

No need to abandon the day
So we join the crowds, it's Black Friday
We choose to go to Cardiff
So paid the bus's tariff?
But this bus was full
So there was an hour's lull

More trouble
Overcharged, inexcusable
In this order, be a boarder
Internet, monthly & weekly, return tickets -
This really takes the biscuit
Oh! if you have none of the above
Then you'll be last to board the bus.

I was looking forward to a meal
Waitress said "it's steak and ale"
Tucking into my dinner
I turned into a right ole Winger
It was steak and kidney
Ugh, Talk about taking the Mickey.

Shopping, surely easy-peasy
No! Tried to buy a pressie
Er! the 4G was finicky
Off to the P.O's ATM
My card, went into abysm
But a nice man in the P.O.
Came to my rescue, like a real hero.
mmmm!

My present, bought with cash
We were ready to crash,
Before we did - I walked into a bollard
And an explosive expletive I hollered

Coffee and cake was a welcome relief
It was brief but a real treat
I met my neighbour who'd come by train
Her day was going without any pain.

I became like Victor Meldrew
My sister argued my point of view
She threatened to slosh me over the head
When I went on about the day we'd lead.
We took the greyhound homeward bound
Same bloody order to board the bus
So I felt like more of a cuss and fuss

Air conditioning, my ass,
It was hot and stuffy,
This was crass
My sister started to get huffy
The person behind, sneezed & snorted
With a nose that Rudolf could've sported.

Hubby asked 'who's the present for?'
I answered, 'an in-law'
'But we bought something last week'
Argh! At that point, I was ready to freak.

Ah! Home at last,
I ran a nice hot bath,
BUT NO! BLAST!
The bleeding water was cold,
And I explode.

Good f@#^%~g night.
I'm off to bed,
A welcome sight,
Enough said!!!

©Kris Prevel
Dec. 2013